The Monsters that Lulled us to Sleep
by Ponine099
Summary: As war encircles them, the Marauders struggle to keep their heads above water. But will their own demons suffocate them before reaching shore?


**Round 6**

**Team: Wasps**

**Position: Beater one**

**Prompt: War. Write a fic set during a wizarding war (either one we know about or one of your own creation)**

**Optional prompts: **

**10\. (phrase) at a crossroads **

**11\. (word) monster**

**A huge thanks to Hemlockconium for beataing!**

* * *

Of the monsters that lulled us to sleep

Something was brewing. Not only out there, in the darkness they'd feared as children, but under their very skin as well.

The realisation had come to them all in different ways, and at different times. But it was always a chilling reminder that they were growing up in the middle of terrible times.

James had seen it first. It had been entrancing, in a sense, watching the transformation of the carefree, cheerful boy, into a sober version of himself. His soul had been kindled with courage and wisdom, and now it shone brighter still.

He smiled for beauty but cried for injustice far more frequently. His reflection slowly changed, and, more and more, he seemed like a man, being barely seventeen.

_"Oh, Merlin," he said, dropping the newspaper on the nearest table. "Have you read those things lately, Pads? It's a nightmare out there, honestly."_

_"So," Sirius said around the wand he held between his teeth, "don't read them." _

_He was getting some late-night studying done and barely paid notice to his friend's displeasure._

_"What are you saying?" James asked, clearly annoyed. "That we should ignore the suffering of others and lead normal, privileged lives?"_

_Sirius frowned and, putting his wand down, looked him in the eye. "No, James," he muttered somberly. "I'm saying there'll be enough war in our lifetime for you to worry about later; there's no need to start prematurely. This time of peace _is _a privilege."_

_James sighed, shaking his head. "I don't think this war is going to leave Hogwarts, or us, untouched. It's already crawling inside, darkening everything. And I, for one, am not going to sit around idly while it does."_

It was in that moment that Sirius finally began to glimpse the changes that were taking place in his friend's heart, and it scared the living daylights out of him.

It wasn't that nothing stirred in his own insides, or that he didn't think about the war at all, but a mist had settled over that matter in his head. He felt lost somehow, as if his role in what was to come had been tied to another destiny, one he'd forsaken years ago, when he'd left home. Without his family name behind him, who was he? And more importantly, which path was he to take? He could carry on straight ahead, ignoring everything that happened to his left and to his right, or he could pick a side. In one direction were the monsters, and in the other were the poor sods who thought they stood a chance.

* * *

Luckily for him, these questions would have to be put aside in favour of more pressing concerns.

As the NEWTs came into sight, stress levels rocketed to an unnerving level in an alarmingly short period of time, as not only exams but other worries, too, piled up, and it became apparent that even a landslide of homework couldn't keep thoughts of the war at bay indefinitely.

The sleepy teens barely left the library for loo breaks and mealtimes; this situation paired up with the fretting that haunted the entire wizarding community resulted in many damaged relationships and hurtful coping mechanisms. The Marauders, of course, weren't left untouched.

"Remus Lupin, you poor sod."

Remus woke up with a start, staring groggily around his corner of the library for the source of his unwanted wake-up call and glaring at the culprit when he finally spotted him.

"This better be life-threatening."

"Precisely, mate," Sirius laughed, leaning closer. "Full moon rises in a few hours."

Remus bit back a yawn, twisting his face into a grimace. "I really hope the wolf's as tired as I am tonight. Then he'll take a nap and save me the trouble."

He slowly rose from the position he had been lying in.

"What were you working on? Those books look dense."

"You know how it goes." He pointed his wand at the pile of books in question, pristinely accommodating them in their shelves. "Research takes you to the strangest places."

"Your lying is _pretty_ convincing, Moony, but I've been an expert at recognising it since we were twelve."

Remus sighed in frustration. "Fine. I'm reading up on dark magic. Specifically that of creatures like me."

Sirius frowned disapprovingly. "Remus..."

"No, don't lecture me."

"I'm not trying to," he said, raising his hands defensively. "I just don't understand why you torture yourself with that biased crap."

His gaze, which Remus promptly avoided, searched him, as if looking for an answer. Remus swore those grey eyes could pierce his soul.

"We're going to be leaving school soon, Pads. And I want to be prepared for what's out there. That's all."

"I don't get it, Moony. Why does it matter?"

"Can't you see?" Remus snapped. His friend was getting on his nerves—an easy task with the full moon this close. He breathed in and out, slowly. "This is all about the war."

"The war, the stupid war," Sirius grumbled. "Not fretting about it would be nice for a change."

Remus scoffed in disbelief. "I know you'll try, but you can't ignore it forever."

But Sirius continued as if he hadn't heard. "And anyway, dark magic? Even if this is all some _war effort_ as James—quite patriotically—puts it, why would you want to study _that_?"

"Because it's the only thing I can do, dammit. Get it now? The only _war effort _I can pull. I won't ever have a career, or a stable economy. Being this close to finishing basic studies is a miracle for me, for Merlin's sake." Remus's voice was cracking, and he seemed to be on the verge of tears. "So yes, Sirius. I plan on using my _dark powers_, or whatever you'd like to call them if it will help. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get to the hospital wing."

And he went right past him, wiping his eyes as he did.

Sirius was struck speechless. Because, what kind of friend was he, not having noticed any of the silent signs of his friend's pain? And the signs _had _been there: Remus excusing himself sick at the appointed hour for his Career Counseling; Remus brusquely changing the conversation topic every time life ambitions or future plans were touched.

Sirius had been so focused on ignoring his own pain that he'd also tuned out that of others.

Suddenly, the war felt too real. It had robbed Remus Lupin of all hope and had stripped James Potter of his innocence. The reality of it all hit him right then and there, and he wept.

First came the thick tears of anger, and then the quiet sobs of fear. He felt powerless and even more lost than before.

* * *

"Ya know Prongs? I think I may have gotten it all wrong."

They were lying in James bed, and their voices were the only sounds in the viciously chilly night. It was a cruel irony that in that April, lazy and hot, the coldest days Sirius had known should take place.

It had something to do with You-Know-Who, the young men had decided. Maybe Dementors were finally roaming free.

Whatever the case, they had tactically decided to lie against each other in hopes of sharing body warmth. Then again, maybe, just maybe, they'd done it to not feel alone during this night of unrest.

"What do you mean?" asked James.

"I've been looking in the mirror-"

"Nothing unusual there," James piped up, letting out a sudden breath of air when Sirius jabbed his elbow into his friend's side.

"As i was saying, I've been looking in the mirror, trying to figure out this bloke staring back at me, and wondering whether he'll make all the wrong choices. Left or right, right or left. But really, I should know better than to make such stupid enquiries. Neither the world nor the war, are as simple as a crossroads, after all."


End file.
